本文是一位諮商工作者在面臨是否參與諮商師特考時所做的自我敘說。作者回溯生命史，父親受到醫師法公布成為密醫的衝擊，以及自身童年受到的影響。藉由生命書寫讓自己的現況與父親的命運相互遭逢；並釐清自己是否參與考試的抉擇底下，更深層的生命意義；進而探討在專業生涯中的核心自我認同。作者並將此生命書寫當成一種自我啟力與尋找主體性的行動。

The author begins this personal narrative when she faces the dilemma-to take or not to take the National Counselor Certification Exam. She reviews her life history starting from the point when her father was suddenly regarded an illegal dentist after the implementation of the "Act of Doctors." Since then, her childhood was significantly changed. Through life writing, the author creates an opportunity for her life in the present to encounter the life of her father in the past; and tries to uncover the meaning of life that has been hidden under various layers. Then she moves on to clarify the core self-identification in her professional career as a counselor. Subsequently, she notices that this process of life writing becomes an act of self-empowerment and an opportunity for her to explore her subjectivity.