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題名:外遇後婚姻關係變化歷程
作者:董智慧
校院名稱:國立彰化師範大學
系所名稱:輔導與諮商學系所
指導教授:趙淑珠
學位類別:博士
出版日期:2009
主題關鍵詞:外遇原諒婚姻關係敘說研究infidelitymarital adulteryforgivenessmarital relationships
原始連結:連回原系統網址new window
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外遇後婚姻關係變化歷程
摘 要
本研究旨在以敘說分析研究法,藉由夫或妻敘說其婚姻關係中面對外遇事件的經驗,得以理解:1.外遇發生的脈絡以及發現外遇前的婚姻知覺與夫妻互動;2.外遇發現後的婚姻變化歷程;3.維持婚姻關係的因素以及目前對婚姻的知覺與夫妻互動;4.親族或親子次系統,如何影響夫妻知覺或因應外遇事件。
本研究包涵兩位女性外遇配偶者以及一對夫妻(先生為外遇者),研究者依據個別訪談的資料建構歷程文本,呈現個別受訪者或受訪夫妻對外遇事件的知覺與因應過程,個人在夫妻、親族以及親子等不同次系統中的內在感受與互動歷程。
本研究以三位女性外遇配偶者敘說,將夫妻面對外遇事件的婚姻關係變化歷程,歸納成五個階段的歷程,包括:疑雲到驗證、外遇揭發、動盪與澄清、重新定位、繼續生活。其中「疑雲與驗證」到「外遇揭發」具後時間先後的次序性,但「動盪與澄清」與「重新定位」兩個歷程在時間次序上具有同時性。
在上述幾個不同的變化歷程中,「動盪與澄清」的歷程特別指的是外遇揭發的那一刻,夫妻之間原本的關係受到破壞,因此生活陷入動盪與紛擾;同時配偶想要獲得尋求外遇者的解釋、外遇者的承諾以及探查外遇事件的始末,這個探究具有澄清關係的意涵。另外,在「重新定位」的階段,指的是除夫妻次系統以外的多重影響因素,包括:宗教信仰、外在資源、自我檢視等因素的影響,重新定位自我在婚姻裡的位置。最後「繼續生活」的階段指的是外遇事件的影響已逐漸趨向緩和,不再是生活中最主要的互動焦點後的生活經驗。
另外,透過一名男性外遇者的立場分析外遇發生脈絡、經驗內涵與婚姻意義。最後以四名受訪者的敘說,對婚姻關係持續的因素以及原諒與關係修復的關聯進行討論。研究者據此提出未來研究的建議及實務工作的反思。
關鍵字:外遇;原諒;婚姻關係;敘說研究
The Changing Process of Marital Relationships after Infidelity
Abstract
This research is for the purpose of applying the narrative methodology for the husband or the wife who narrated their marriage in meeting events of infidelity, and can understand: 1) why the extramarital affairs happen; 2) marital relationship changing process after the infidelity is discovered; 3) the factor that remain marital ties and their current interactions; 4) how the relatives or children affect the couple cope with the extramarital affair event.
The study includes two females whose husbands have had extramarital affairs, as well as one couple (a gentleman who had an extramarital affair); the researcher rests on the individual interview’s material construction and the course text to present the coping process after infidelity, as well as his or her intrinsic feeling and interactive process while encountering different subsystems, such as with a spouse, children, or relatives.
The researcher has sketched out the marital relationship changed process, including: 1) suspecting and verification; 2) discovery; 3) turbulent and clarification; 4) redefinition; 5) holding on.
In the above, several different conditions change course, “the turbulence and clarification” refers to specifically the moment of extramarital affair is exposed; the relations originally between the husbands and wives are destroyed. Therefore lives falls into the turbulence and troubled; simultaneously the spouse seeks an explanation of the extramarital affair, extramarital affair's pledge, as well as the investigation of extramarital affair events from the beginning to end. This inquisition clarifies the meaning of relationship. Moreover, in “redefinition” stage, it refers to multiple influencing factors beside of husband and wife subsystem, including: religious belief, external resources, self-inspection influences, and self locating in the marital position. Finally the stage of “holding on” refers to infidelity influence and has tended to gradually be calm and is no longer the main interactive issue in the relationship.
Moreover, a male with his infidelity, has stated his standpoint to analyze the context of his affairs, the experience, and the marital meaning.
Finally four participants’ are invited to discuss their reasons for continuing, as well as the connection between forgiveness and the recovery of the relationship and to the marriage ties. The researcher also purposes a recommendation for further research in the future that has been based on above narration, as well as the introspection of practiced work.
Key words: infidelity, marital adultery, forgiveness, marital relationship
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