哀傷撫慰之首要倫理為尊重哀傷的個別性。哀傷歷程中陪伴者本身亦是療癒的觸媒，須適時地善用自己，「工欲善其事，必先利其器」，讓自己的「在」變得有價值。本文從苦難與生命的對看、從關係與界線反思陪伴倫理，並進一步提出陪伴者之自我準備，以能貼近人的軟弱及疲憊之處，讓『生命可以影響生命』，殤而不傷以細膩之心成就動人的告別。哀傷陪伴須建立在深度「共在（being with）」的基礎上，一旦當哀傷被看見和情緒獲得疏通，「經歷痛的本身亦可能是療癒的一部份（hurting may be part of healing）」，如此可平衡哀傷陪伴之利弊得失且符合倫理。醫療照護者在貼近失落與哀傷的受苦情境中，陪伴受苦者不致脫逃，甚至成為助人行動背後之內在動力，以及在此一處境下的自我關照、自我掙扎與形塑，關乎陪伴品質能否深化之重要關鍵。

The most important ethic of being-with was showing respect for the uniqueness of the bereaved when someone would like to provide bereavement care. The caregivers themselves were therapeutic instruments for catalyzing healing as they were being with the bereaved. One must have good tools in order to do a good job. A caregiver's therapeutic use of self to be a wound healer ensures the value of his/her presence and being. Between suffering and life perspectives based on helping relationships and boundaries to reflect the ethics of being-with in bereavement care were noticed. We proposed that caregivers' well self-prepared by being-with enabled them to be close to the weaknesses and frailness of human beings. This helped them affect the lives of other people and provide a touching final farewell based on empathy. The foundation of bereavement care must be centered on one's being with deep and comprehensive understanding. When caregivers helped the bereaved to express and accept a full range of grief feelings, hurting commonly became a part of the healing possibly. It was appropriate ethically while benefits and harm of being-with during bereavement care were balanced. Health caregivers working in loss and grief situations and being with mourners must attempt to modulate loss and grief situations without escapes in order to become a formidable internal motivation to help others. Under these circumstances, one's self-reflection, self-struggle and self-shaping were factors critically influencing whether the quality of being-with others can be enhanced.