本文嘗試以一關切小說人物生命史與存在感受的詮釋路向，著意觀察《荒人手記》中的核心敘事線索──年屆四十之都會男同志小韶的愛慾歷程，聚焦於考察小韶與愛慾關係中的重要他人：阿堯、傑、永桔的生命交錯。 　　論述可知，《荒人手記》作為第一人稱敘事者小韶獨特的生命故（敘）事，正是始於遭遇阿堯之「死亡」而來的終極探問：「不在，意味著什麼呢？」由「不在」而使之「在」地展開之生命追憶、命運觀看與書寫實踐。而我們透過小韶與初戀情人「傑」、婚約伴侶「永桔」的關係所進行之考索，更帶出愛慾、家園等同性情慾歷路的重要課題，而這正是我們試圖解讀「荒人」之複義、小說之題旨，以及朱天文對「情色愛慾」之獨特看法的重要面向。

This essay concerns with the life history of a character in a novel. Specifically, by exploring the course of lifetime and the sense of existence, this essay aims to interpret the experience of eros of the narrator Xiao Shao, an approximately forty year-old metropolitan male homosexual, in the Notes of a Desolate Man, with the focus on the examination of the eros relationship between Xiao Shao and three important men in his life: Yao, Jay, and Yung Jie. 　　The unique life story of the first-person narrator Xiao Shao in the Notes of a Desolate Man begins with the death of his friend Yao and his ultimate question “what does it mean by non-existence?” It is “the non-existent” makes “the existent” begin the recall of life memory, the examination of destiny and the practice of writing. This “non-stop continuous writing” represents Xiao Shao’s “Narration of Mourning” and “Experience of Eros”. 　　Through the close interpretation of the relationships between Xiao Shao and his friend Yao, his first love Jay, and his partner Yung Jie, the sense of existence, such as death, eros and home, in the life of the homosexuals are brought forward. And this is the interpretation of the complex meaning of “desolate man” and the theme of “notes”. Also, this is a significant dimension of the unique interpretation of “eros” by Chu Tien-Wen.